Have you ever felt stuck in anger? I have and I can honestly tell you that it took years of my life. It contributed to broken relationships, weight gain, depression and isolation. It kept me from being able to enjoy what was in front of me. Anger consumed my mind, body and soul.
It took years for anger to move through me. No matter how hard I tried to forgive, forget or let go, the anger would not budge. My society wanted me to “suck it up and move on” or pretend it didn’t exist and my religion wanted me to “forgive”. I tried all of these things and still nothing worked to prevent the anger or keep me from feeling stuck in it. They only left me feeling broken and ashamed.
Today I realize that anger is a process and I needed to go through the anger to let it go. Expressing my anger through running or angry music has been most effective for me. It take what it takes for it to pass. Sometimes it takes days and sometimes it takes years. Sometimes we move through effortlessly and sometimes it takes work. Sometimes we cruise through and sometimes we get stuck. There is no telling how long the process of anger will take.
If you are angry, then you are one step closer to peace. Anger is a stage in the grief process. It comes after shock, denial and resistance. In order to fully accept your situation, you must move through the anger stage, which means you must experience the anger. Anger is not a bad thing. It is an emotion that is necessary in the healing process. Our society, culture and religions put so much negative emphasis on anger that leaves us feeling fearful and ashamed. This fear and shame keeps us stuck in grief instead of encouraging us to express our anger.
Allow yourself the freedom to feel angry. Eventually the weight of the anger will become such a burden that you will want to let it go. But YOU must be the one who wants to let it go for YOU. Let go of any expectations you or others may have with regard to your situation. Don’t shame, judge or push yourself through it. Embrace your anger by acknowledging and accepting it. Remind yourself that it is part of the healing process and that it takes what it takes to move through it.
Peace and blessings,