Have you ever done something you were not proud of? Do you have parts about yourself that you just cannot bare to reveal with others? I think most of us can answer yes to this question. There are many parts of who I am today that I am still not proud of. They include ego and pride. I am able to recognize those traits in me and they are ugly. They trigger feelings of shame. My old way of dealing with those traits were to mask them and hide them; cover them up so they looked good and nobody would know. I would lie about them and deny them. I would defend them and resist them. All of these actions only kept me from working through them; from embracing them, accepting them and letting them go. The perfectionist in me could not bear to look at the parts of me I did not and still do not like. The perfectionist in me could not bare to have those parts exposed to those around me, because if they were exposed, then people may not like me. And if people realized who I really was, then they may reject me.
This cycle of denial and resistance; this cycle of shame, kept me in bondage to self. It kept me trapped in lies and trapped in a mask that I could not for the life of me take off. Looking back on my life, I carried that shame around and wore that mask because I feared the exposure. Exposure led to rejection. Rejection led to pain. It wasn’t until I began to understand and accept grace in my life, that I was truly able to let go of the shame and heal parts of me that kept me in bondage to self; the parts that held me back from living a life of purpose and meaning.
Grace allows me to live my life with purpose instead of living my life in emotional bondage and captivity.
Take a moment to reflect on the mask you wear. Consider taking it off for short periods of time either with God, yourself or the safe people in your life. Allow yourself to experience grace and let go of shame. Do not try to earn forgiveness or make up for something you’ve done. Just allow yourself to feel the freedom that grace has to offer you simply because you are you and YOU ARE ENOUGH!
Peace and blessings,