Grief is the process of acceptance. Acceptance happens when we let go of something. It can include letting go of the passing of a loved one. It can include letting go of a job. It can include letting go of a friendship. It can include letting go of an idea or vision. It can include letting go of a desire or expectation.
Take a moment to think about your life. Are you in the midst of any kind of change? Are you grieving a loss in your life whether it be a person, place or thing? Do you have an expecation or desire that is not being fulfilled the way you would like? What is it that you need to find acceptance in? And lastly, how does it feel?
There are so many feelings associated with grief. The only feeling that feels good is when we finally reach the acceptance stage. Grief is a process that includes the following stages: denial, anger, bargaining/guilt/shame, sadness/depression and acceptance. Grieving is a healthy human process. We can get stuck in grief because our system goes into survival mode of fight, flight or freeze because it feels bad. Instead of having self-compassion, we judge or shame ourselves. By learning how to identify and understand our feelings, especially with regard to grief, we are able to have self-compassion with ourselves, rather judgment or guilt. By having self-compassion, we are able to surrender those feelings and move through our grief rather than getting stuck in the midst of the denial, anger, bargaining, shame, guilt or sadness.
Reflect on the areas of your life where you may be experiencing grief. Instead of avoiding the grief or judging and shaming yourself, allow yourself to feel the emotions associated with grief. Embrace them and have self-compassion with yourself by understanding the feelings associated with it. Remind yourself that it is good and healthy to feel this way; it is part of the healthy, human process called, grief. Pray for comfort during your time of grief. Be gentle, kind and loving to yourself. This will allow the feelings of grief to flow through you and out of you instead of getting stuck in them.
Peace and blessings,