What kind of pressure are you putting on yourself to fix other people’s problems?
I am a fixer by nature. It’s a part of my chemical make-up as well as something I learned to do growing up. I get uncomfortable when people are suffering. It makes me feel anxious. Because of that uncomfortable feeling, I want to help in order to avoid feeling the suffering myself. When others suffer, I suffer, so I fix it.
But what happens when I can’t fix it? And more importantly, what if I’m not supposed to fix it?
I learned that I can only do so much in another person’s life because I only have a small amount of control and power. I am not God, nor do I have a magic wand to fix things. I also learned that by always trying to fix people and their problems, it keeps them from figuring out the things they are supposed to figure out and fix themselves. It blocks their intuition, keeps them from learning the lessons they are supposed to learn, and keeps them from seeking the help and guidance they need. It keeps them dependent on me. There comes a point when they have to stand up on their own two feet and do the work themselves in order to grow into the person they are meant to be.
Instead of trying to fix someone, learn how to just be with them. Give them love and support; patience and kindness. Pray for them. But don’t try to fix them. Living to fix others will only create an unhealthy, co-dependent relationship. It blocks their intuition and keeps them dependent upon you. Live to love instead.
Peace and blessings,